Its always darkest before...

In reading through all the newspapers online today i found myself increasingly depressed. With obvious corruption and depression and bailouts... oh my!

And here in the middle of advent, when i'm forced to reflect on the Christmas story, i have found it to be more relevant than ever before. The Jews were living in tough times. They had been through several revolts. The Romans had invaded, desecrated the temple. Now they had a corrupt and possibly insane ruler over them. A ruler who was not chosen by the Jews, but by the Romans. So on a warm spring night, Joseph loaded up his very pregnant fiancee, onto a donkey and headed to Bethlehem. ( I always found it interesting that the literal translation of Bethlehem is house of bread, but i digress...) Worse, the child wasn't even his. Joseph was facing not only a disruption in his life, but a major life change. Yet still he honored his obligations and headed back to the city of his birth to take part in the census.

Many of us are facing a similar circumstances. Its hard to find hope in the night and in winter its dark around 5pm! Today's reading for my advent devotional is Isaiah 11:1-5 An apt reading for these difficult times. There is a part of me that wonders if what we're experiencing is the hangover after a long time of partying without restrictions. Like the ancient Jews who read this passage, we are looking for a "shoot will spring from the stem of Jesse" who will
" ... will not judge by what His eyes see,
Nor make a decision by what His ears hear;
But with righteousness He will judge the poor,
And decide with fairness for the afflicted of the earth;
And He will strike the earth with the rod of His mouth,
And with the breath of His lips He will slay the wicked."

For some that shoot is named "Barack". For those who dare call themselves Christians, we believe the shoot was named Jesus. (Christ is a title, not a name)

So where am i going with this... Well i do have hope that the new administration can change things around. But I also know that Barack is human and suffers from all too human limitations. He's just a hell of a lot smarter than me! But I also can settle into my long held belief and hope that God will interact with current events and show us not only the error of our ways, but his love and joy in his creation and moves us all safely into the house of bread.

In the meantime, i'll continue to pray for the idiots that got us here and hopefully the idiots who'll get us out!

C hurch is for the pretty popular people

Lately i've been feeling kinda like the odd man out at church. I've bounced around a few churches in a few countries and have seen very few misfits sitting in the pews. When i hop on "evangelical" websites i see beautiful middle class white people. I am none of those adjectives.

I recently started reading a few other blogs and found out that i'm not the only one who's not fitting in! ( you can read the postings here: http://nakedpastor.com/archives/2420 and here: http://chickchaotic.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/futility-and-fugacity-or-future-hope/#more-218) I spent my younger years trying to fit into the box that i thought i should fit in. With age i gave up that futile struggle.

But...

In looking around i noticed that pastors tend to be popular people. They tend to be the locus that the church is wrapped around. While we would like to believe that we picked our pastors based upon their sound doctrine and theology, the reality is that the deciding factors is their likability and public speaking abilities.

So where does this leave the outsiders. The people who arent "pretty". The people who ask hard questions and leave them unanswered. Who dont wear the right clothes or makeup. The people who have addictions/struggles/lost the battle for purity. Where do they go?

Should we attempt to make those people whole and pretty?Or should we love them as they are and move them towards healing and peace? Who should we be choosing to lead us? Or should we be choosing who to lead?

And sometimes, in the middle of the night, i think that we've got it all wrong. That Jesus never intended for the church to be a building that is lead by someone who has the title "pastor"who conceives and implements programs.

That, thought, more than anything else keeps me awake at night...