C hurch is for the pretty popular people

Lately i've been feeling kinda like the odd man out at church. I've bounced around a few churches in a few countries and have seen very few misfits sitting in the pews. When i hop on "evangelical" websites i see beautiful middle class white people. I am none of those adjectives.

I recently started reading a few other blogs and found out that i'm not the only one who's not fitting in! ( you can read the postings here: http://nakedpastor.com/archives/2420 and here: http://chickchaotic.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/futility-and-fugacity-or-future-hope/#more-218) I spent my younger years trying to fit into the box that i thought i should fit in. With age i gave up that futile struggle.

But...

In looking around i noticed that pastors tend to be popular people. They tend to be the locus that the church is wrapped around. While we would like to believe that we picked our pastors based upon their sound doctrine and theology, the reality is that the deciding factors is their likability and public speaking abilities.

So where does this leave the outsiders. The people who arent "pretty". The people who ask hard questions and leave them unanswered. Who dont wear the right clothes or makeup. The people who have addictions/struggles/lost the battle for purity. Where do they go?

Should we attempt to make those people whole and pretty?Or should we love them as they are and move them towards healing and peace? Who should we be choosing to lead us? Or should we be choosing who to lead?

And sometimes, in the middle of the night, i think that we've got it all wrong. That Jesus never intended for the church to be a building that is lead by someone who has the title "pastor"who conceives and implements programs.

That, thought, more than anything else keeps me awake at night...